The Dorito

A well groomed man is a god amongst insects.  For the last few months as an act of revellion i decided to grow my hair out, of course in my head i immagined it long and lush (i had this mental picture of Fabio-dont judge me!) but then i started to notice my wife wasnt into it as much as i was so i decided to get it cut nice and short, and not only upstairs but downstairs too hahaha in the shape of a triangle and it kind of looked like a dorito! and yes my wife loved it. Yes my was long but at least it didnt look like this guys....

fitness

Working out could prove very rewarding if you are a stay at home dad like me, since we are the "trophy husbands" we must keep the house clean and our body's looking like a Greek god. When my wife first started working and i staying home,i spent most of my time playing call of duty or watching hbo series (Entourage, True blood, etc.), after 5 months of that i started to notice my body wasn't what it used to be so i decided to start running again and taking my dog for long walks, also i started to watch what i ate, microwave burritos are a thing of the past for me but to this day i cant bring myself to drink "light beer".
Remember guys find a Hobie outside yo couch.

Im back!! Pets.......

Hello my fellow bloggers and stay at home dads im back with a vengence and this time im here to stay!
Theres one thing in this world that brings my wife more joy than me massaging her feet(sore subject i hate giving massages) its our little shitzu "sushi". Sushi is a 2 year old pure shitzu and in my house she is treated like royalty; i mean my wife probably buys her an outfit every week, with that beign said il begin telling yall the reason im in the dog house for a while. About 3 months ago my wife had to travel out of the country for work so i decided while shes gone i would go visit my parents in Utah (i know utah sucks), any who long story short i was supposed to take the dog with me but didnt..... well it costs like 300 bucks to take her on the plane Fuck that!! so i left her at one of my buddys house. 2 weeks later i came back to California and went to pick up my dog, sure enough my buddy explained to me that his chihuahua had banged my little dog, at that moment i knew i was in a world of trouble if she got prego (my dog isnt fixed, i know im a monster sue me). So 3 months go by and my dog is feeling a little sick she wont eat, she had diarhea etc. I never told my wife what had happened so she didnt know, so we went to the vet to c what was wrong with her and i knew the vet was going to tell her and id be in deep shit. We waited in a little waiting room with our pup and the vet walks in, and has us put sushi in the exam table; he takes the thermometer and sticks it in her ass and sure enough as soon as he did that sushi starts shitting out a baby!!! OMFG. After a few hours of beign called every name in the book the mut started to grow on my wife so we decided to keep it.
moral of the story "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." = Homer Simpson

my new pup pippa midleton lol!!

Bed at 9? WTF!!!

Oh yes as many of you know when our special ladys tighten the strings on those pajama bottoms lights out! and most of the time us guys will not be tired, i mean i know she works in the morning but come on 9 fucking oclock? give me a break and she expects me to go with her or suffer a cold night in the couch? fuck that! but you know "its cold out here for a pimp" and the couch after a while feels cozy.

Massage.....aghhh

I remember when me and my wife first started dating and she asked for a massage, i was like "hell yeah i love giving massages im the best!'.....NOT!!! 4 years and 100000 massages later i can honestly say FUCK MASSAGES I HATE GIVING EM AND RECEIVING EM! I even tried buying one of those shitazu foot massagers but she says "its not the same" Wtf is that! this thing is a robot thats sole purpose is to give massages! but of course im a weenie and like a lot of stay at home dads we like pleasing our hard working wifes so i give in. My advice, when she asks you, start doing it then after a minute put your head back and scream DAMN NOSEBLEED AGAIN!! or just ask her if she wants tea.

Grocery shopping....

God i remember the first time my wife sent me grocery shopping, she got home from work and all hell broke loose, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!", CHEETOS, RED BULL, BEER!! GET YOUR ASS BACK TO WALMART AND BUY REAL FOOD! lol i didnt know back then humans ate anything else, damn i remember college i lived of that stuff and i turned out ok...  Well now every time i go i have a list with all the crap she eats, and of course i treat myself to a few snacks.  Remember guys eat your god damn vegetables!!

Laundry day

I never thought womens laundry was so complicated! put this with this and that with that! what kind of shit is this! after ruining 5 sweaters and 4 of her jeans i learned a few tricks about laundry i now separate 3 different loads whites, darks, and everything else; also i now dont dry jeans, and sweaters anymore beacuse it shrinks the hell out of em. Theres no real science to folding clothes pretty much foldem like you seem em folded at the mall.
Why don't men do laundry?

Cause the washer and dryer don't run on remote control!